…but first, the Funny Story for the Week:
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“Hey, there are crunchy bits in this chocolate! …oh, they’re just toffee. Well, that’s good to know.”
“Yeah, just don’t do as I did, and find out, after the fact, that the crunchy bits in your food are broken glass…”
“Ow!! How’d that happen?”
“Broke a condiment bottle.”
“So, um, what happened? Doesn’t that usually involve a trip to the emergency room?”
“Well, yeah, and I was going to do that, but then I did a little research online.”
“Well, if your dog eats a Christmas ornament, you’re supposed to feed him cotton balls. All the little fibers wrap around the bits of broken glass, they become harmless, and eventually he just passes them out the other end.”
“I ate a bunch of cotton balls.”
“Yep. They taste really gnarly, too.”
“And it worked?”
“Yeah. They said it was easier to get your dog to eat them if you soaked them in half-and-half first, so I ate them with some ice cream.”
“Uh. Ice cream.”
“Yeah. They were…weird.”
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So hey, now you know what to do if you accidentally eat broken glass. 🙂
Second funny story of the day: the same friend who sent me the gorgeous French rugby player photos just crashed his hard drive, and was worried about the repair guys finding the rugby players. So he asked me (semi-jokingly) if gay porn was illegal. Given a straight line like that, how on earth could I resist?
“Only if you don’t share!!”
So I told him that (a) every hard drive in existence probably has porn on it, and not to worry, and (b) if pressed, he could always say it was for a friend. (Which, oddly enough, it was. He downloaded it all so he could send me a CD of it. The sacrifices he makes, poor boy…LOL)
And, along those lines, a brief moment of very telling embarrassment: I was looking for one of my chocolate cookbooks and couldn’t find it anywhere. Went through the entire bookshelf, the chocolate section…nada. Finally I turned the entire house upside down looking for it, and where did I finally locate it??
…in with the erotica.
*chuckle* Right idea, wrong (sub)genre.
(But hey, at least I know what I was thinking when I put it there…!)
At any rate, I have now finished fifteen or twenty pounds of chocolates, in a six-hour run: English toffee with and without nuts, lots of caramels; cinnamon, jasmine, and Armagnac truffles, chocolate covered macadamia nuts, cherry-almond clusters, chocolate covered apricots, and chocolate covered pears. I am contemplating making two batches of fudge (maple walnut and white chocolate-Meyer lemon-lavender) as well, but having eaten nothing but sugar all day, I think dinner comes first. 🙂
I have also bought some duck eggs, for Christmas presents…I am flying to Maryland on Friday to visit family and pick up my cats…so I need to bring some Xmas presents. If I work at it, I think I can get one or two of my Celtic-knot pysanky done before I leave. (Those are very nice…basically batik done on eggs, except that I draw the lines in 22KT gold leaf, and set precious gems into the design…sadly, no photos of this work on my website (yet), but will eventually get around to it. They are gorgeous, some of the most beautiful work I’ve done. (There are photos of some other eggs on my website, in the crafts section, but they’re the simpler ones.))
At any rate, I am now COVERED in chocolate (smudges on hands, arms, cheeks, forehead, chin, hair, shirt covered in chocolate from where I wiped my (chocolate-covered) hands on it, chocolate under my fingernails, chocolate on my feet, chocolate embedded in my watchband. Not to mention chocolate all over the kitchen, dining room, and floor. Chocolates are wonderful things, but dang, are they messy. (But then, so are most of the worthwhile things in life. 😉 )
It’s really too bad I don’t have an S.O….I suspect he’d be thrilled. 🙂